HER MISTAKE

Don't you hate whenever your in a relationship with someone and you want to give them your all but you don't because you feel that something is holding them back???

I know i do. SMH. As you guys may know i have a BF. everything seemed to be okay. Knowing in the back of my head that something wasn't right i still put myself out there. [sighhhhhh] So last night we talked about how we feel about each other. [i forgot how the convo started but it was cool] till he asked me if i put in my all with him. i said..... i give you a lot but not all because i hesitate since i wasn't sure that he was putting in his all. [ sad face ] And of' course i was right. he wasn't puttin his all. [ not that it messed us up or anything because we still feel the same for each other ] but i started realizing this because he started holding back a lot. Most of the thing he used to say to me wasn't said as much anymore. [i didn't think much of it at first because i didn't know what to think about it ] So after last nights convo he said... the reason that he hasn't put his all because of his past relationships. always being left high and dry. [ i mean i can't fault him for what he went through so it would be only right for himself to protect his feelings] && it sucks because i know the type of girl i am and when i really like someone i would never hurt him the way they did. One thing i don't understand is that how hes used to being the one open in his past relationships and how in this one I'm the one that open but what is he loosing if I'm the one putting myself out there like that. I'm trying not to let this affect me but it SUCKS ASS! because now i feel i shouldn't put myself out there since i don't want to get hurt either. Now i feel like i didn't move any where [ :"-( ] i really do like him a lot and i just don't know how to feel about the situation cause i never been with someone that's guarded from me. i just wish he really knew and understand that I'm not trying to hurt him and i just want him. [ i don't want to make it a huge situation but i also want him to believe me ] UGH!!!! am i really thinkin to much about it???

i felt like this song was the closest to my situation but not to this extent :-/

sealed with a kiss, J'adore Daphh