R.I.P. GINA [CHRIS'S MOM] :'-(

Yesterday it came to my attention that a dear friends mother had past. While i was in the city for Fashion's Night Out i received a call from my friend Chris. A call no person ever wants to get. I didn't know how to respond to him; I was so shocked!!!! Chris's mom died from breast cancer [ the second most common type of cancer.] I tried my best to keep my composure talking to him because it is hard enough trying to be there for someone while you need someone to be there for you and he needed it most. When i first met Chris's mom she was so welcoming; come to find out they were a family friend of mine before i even knew Chris. For as long as i known Chris i never knew of someone close to his mother as he was. [yeaaa every child loves their mother] but he would watch what she eats and more. I remember when we brought checkers and i offered her some and Chris told me NO! she couldn't have any. He tried to keep her healthy as can be. Luckily Chris has his close friends and family to get him through this hard situation. Richard; another one of my good friends that had introduced me to Chris a while back is just like a brother to him and i can only imagine what he is thinking. I didn't get to talk to him yet about the situation in dept but i can't think of anyone that would be there for Chris other than me. This is one of the tough times in life we are just going to get through together!!!
!

Perfect day for it to pour outside.
At least since its raining you can't tell that i'm crying :'-(

My heart goes out to you Chris!!!! Information && Donations for Breast Cancer
Click Here!

breastcancer.org
thebreastcancersite.com

R.I.P. GINA
1966- 2009

sealed with a kiss, J'adore Daphh

HER MISTAKE

Don't you hate whenever your in a relationship with someone and you want to give them your all but you don't because you feel that something is holding them back???

I know i do. SMH. As you guys may know i have a BF. everything seemed to be okay. Knowing in the back of my head that something wasn't right i still put myself out there. [sighhhhhh] So last night we talked about how we feel about each other. [i forgot how the convo started but it was cool] till he asked me if i put in my all with him. i said..... i give you a lot but not all because i hesitate since i wasn't sure that he was putting in his all. [ sad face ] And of' course i was right. he wasn't puttin his all. [ not that it messed us up or anything because we still feel the same for each other ] but i started realizing this because he started holding back a lot. Most of the thing he used to say to me wasn't said as much anymore. [i didn't think much of it at first because i didn't know what to think about it ] So after last nights convo he said... the reason that he hasn't put his all because of his past relationships. always being left high and dry. [ i mean i can't fault him for what he went through so it would be only right for himself to protect his feelings] && it sucks because i know the type of girl i am and when i really like someone i would never hurt him the way they did. One thing i don't understand is that how hes used to being the one open in his past relationships and how in this one I'm the one that open but what is he loosing if I'm the one putting myself out there like that. I'm trying not to let this affect me but it SUCKS ASS! because now i feel i shouldn't put myself out there since i don't want to get hurt either. Now i feel like i didn't move any where [ :"-( ] i really do like him a lot and i just don't know how to feel about the situation cause i never been with someone that's guarded from me. i just wish he really knew and understand that I'm not trying to hurt him and i just want him. [ i don't want to make it a huge situation but i also want him to believe me ] UGH!!!! am i really thinkin to much about it???

i felt like this song was the closest to my situation but not to this extent :-/

sealed with a kiss, J'adore Daphh

I'll Let The Music Speak For Me ..

Hugs&Kisses.Sammy*

QUESTION: DONT YOU HATE

Ugh!!!! Don't you hate when your mad at boy/girlfriend/friend whoever. && they think the reason why your mad is stupid or tell you; you shouldn't be mad just cuz they don't see why????

that shxt is soooooo annoyingggggg!!!!!

sealed with a kiss, J'adore Daphh

PDA && WHEN ITS JUST NASTYY

LMAO. so lexxie and i were sitting on her front porch watchin people walk by [creepy huh.lol] but anywhooooo these KIDS were standing at the corner making mad noise like our neighborhood isn't quiet. SMH. as we were looking at them make fools of themselves this little girl started grinding on her "boyfriend" [garrooosssssss. take that shxt somewhere else] NOTE** they dont even know we're sitting there.
time goes by and they started walkin by the house thinking they would of kept walking they stopped across the street. You know how when girls i mean BIRDS be chilling with a few boys and they feel the need to do whatever it takes to get attention???? well they did anything alright. those girls deadass kissed each other and kept saying "look we just kissed" WTFFFFF!!!!

With a digust look on our face [not just cuz they kissed but the way they were acting] one of the girls kept calling her "boyfriend" over. He then man handled her and gave her the nasttiessstttt kiss ever. At this point me and Lexxie couldn't hold it in. so alex goes and say "EWWWWW THATS NASTYYYYY". lmfao. and i said "WHAT KIND OF SHXT IS THAT??" and kept laughing. You could tell they were embarrassed cuz they made no eye contact. SMFH!!!

little kisses and pecs are always cute with your BF but all that other shxt

i dont find cute at all. whats done in the bedroom should stay there.WTF

just thought i should share that moment with you guys. SMFH!!

sealed with a kiss, J'adore Daphh

A MOTHERS INTUITION ISN'T ALWAYS RIGHT

okay; so whose parents or should i say mother tries to have a say in your love life [ALL RAISES HANDS] SMH.

Don't you hate when your parents feel the need to tell you who you should date. like really...do you think I'm actually going to listen!
I understand the whole religion thing, or you marry within your race. but DAMN!! can i live tho???
Today; my mother asked me if i had a boyfriend. Why lie??? so i told her yea [stupid decision]
she started asking the typical questions that a mother should ask [no problem]
then she started asking these ridiculous questions like it really mattered to me...
heres how it went....
MOM: what is his nationality??
ME: does it matter???
MOM: okay so what kind of hair does he have??
ME: are you serious? what does that have to do with anything???
MOM: you have to think about how your kids are going to come out
ME: [rolls eyes] i get all that but I'm not going to look for someone based on hair. that makes no sense......
[convo gets heated and more annoying]
then she ask....what is his skin complexion??

this is where i didn't even want to con't the convo.

My mother has a huge thing about hair and complexion. I get everybody has there own preference but she cant force hers on me. [i think she gets this from my grandmother]
NOTE*** she doesn't even know what my boyfriend looks like when in actuality he is just what she likes [didn't plan that at ALL] but she is criticizing him just cuz of my history of boyfriends which i may admit weren't the best out of the bunch [shrugs shoulders] but clearly all that doesn't matter to me.
ITS WHO I'M ATTRACTED TOO!!! WTH!!
she pretty much annoying me about the whole situation and now going to tell my grandmother on me and i didn't even do anything. LMFAO this is going to funny yet pointless

wait till she actually meets him then she'll shut the hell up!!!! -_-

sealed with a kiss, J'adore Daphh

SMH AT MYSELF

so i've realized im kind of insomniac. LOL. SMH. its now 3:12am and pretty much dont have anyone to talk to right now so whats the next best thing.....write how i feel on my blog. [sighhhhhh] well here it gooessssssss :/

As im sitting her on the comp listening to music (letoya luckett-lazy.mp3) ; i'm just thinkin about how things are going in my life and its really not how i expected it to be. SMFH. i had quit my job at NYLI because that job was REALLLYY not for me. i can't just sit there and do nothing. Im more of a hands on type of person. Tho it was't one of my smartest ideas it felt like the right one. The atmospher and every single person ESPECIALLY my perverted boss got under my skin. UGH!!!!. i really feel like bangin his head on the wall. [shrug shoulders]. i know i get that you shouldn't let ppl get in the way of your money buttttt NAH, im good.

Anywhooooo. school is coming around and i really saw my self going to a better school as of Sept. Nassau isn't a bad school at alll but in order for me to keep my grades up i need to stay away from ppl i know [bad huh.] Don't get me wrong i love you guys but i gotta do what i gotta do.
At least thats what i thought..........
Summer went by sooooo fast that my next school year didn't even come to mind. [im soooo mad at myself for that shxt] i actually did my fafsa on time but little did i know that the deadlines on the school i wanted to attend already passed and its already hard to go in the Medical programs. [bangs head on keyboard] Being the last to go to college i have to prove to my parents im not like my brother and sister. [they did end up goin back to school yrs later. but better later than never..right? so im happy for them] so now im pissed that i might have to go back to nassau for the fall semester [rolls eyes]. i really did this to myself.
Besides all that, shxts been really stressful in my house. Everybody is on edge and my fathers blood pressure is always going up because of my brother. ['sighhhhs] the only time i really feel comfortable is out my house. Sometimes Lexxie and i just go out to no where cuz its pretty much the same shxt at her crib. UGHHHHHH!. i deadass feel like i cant go anywhere and feel at ease.
So as school inches closer and parents get more annoying. I HAVE TO PROVE THEM WRONG!.Today Lexxie and i had a talk on what the hell are we doing as of fall. We came up with just 2 solutions [ i dont wanna tell you guys just yet. cuz it has to go through before i get hyped about it.] (crosses fingers) coming up with this stuff and realizing where we faulted didnt help as much because i really felt dumb ass hell and we stay doing shxt like this but atleast we know where to con't.

well im done venting....for now.
thanx for leanding your ears. [well eyes. lol]

sealed with a kiss, Jadore Daphh

WTF!

and i just thought to myself......

my birthday is definitely 13 days away and im turning 2.1!!
(you would think i was excited [::rolls eyes::] )

WTF am i going to do now???. everything really did mess up for me.
ugh! whatever :(
[trying not to stress]

well GOODNIGHT... i guess :/


sealed with a kiss, Jadore Daphh

Response to Lexxie's "Am i the only one"

SMFH; you out of all people know how my mother gets. shxt! i go to your house when she gets on my last nerve every single time. I've been coming to your house pretty much everyday for the last 9yrs and your mom is very much like my mom. LOL so i get what your saying. Theres times when we feel like we have no where to go b/c being in our house to long with them drives us CRAZYYYYY. This is where our road trips to no where come in hand. LOL.
Don't get my wrong. My mom is my mom and no one can take her spot. but DAMN. i feel like pulling my hair at times. i feel like the only time we get along is when we barely see each other since i refuse to stay home while shes there.

Yeaaaa, we have our good times but that really comes once in a blue moon.

Your not the only one that feels that way. deadass!


sealed with a kiss, Jadore Daphh

Just Some Thoughts;

Ugh; So lately i've been getting frustrated with my job at ALDO. I'm not the one to complain but i just cant lol.First off, i never really liked it. The reason being was due to the fact that the stock room was located down stairs.! That means the job consist of running up & down stairs aboutt 60 times a day. the worst is when the customer sends you about 5 times for diff sizes or styles & then after all that work, they dont buy shxt smfh. I also hate when people ask; "do you work here?" when I'm clearly weraing my walkie & aldo pin. I want to reply, no i just wear a huge walkie talkie for a fashion statment smh. I get that about 50 times a day lol. Then another thing is the manager; She's cool, but at times Not so approachable. It seems she got upset when school started back because that would leave me to only be able to work weekends (due to interning & school). Since I can only work weekends now, i would think she would give me hoursss.! but i havent been on the schedule ever since that little incident when school started. UGH.!* Well yesterday me & the bestie Daphnee went to go pick up my check from the last few weeks I worked. It was nice; wayyyyy nicer then i excpected actually lol. So that turned my frown upside down for the time being lol. Right in time for VDAY smh. Had to buy my Valentine a gift. & i like to p0ut thought into my gifts (= any of my close friends should know this lol lol.

Anyway;I am now looking for a new job. Preferably not in retail (unless its a reallly poppin store lol) I'm looking into a receptionist job. They get paiiddd $$$ (= lol. & i have great oral and writing skills so why not. If anyone knows of anyy job openings; let me know.! It would be greatly appreciated (= lol.