Can't Sleep...UGH

Ok so, its like 3 in the morning and i have to wake up in 4 hours yet i cant sleep..=/. I been bothered i guess. I've just been so tired of playing the rebound girl role. Im tired of being the girl to get his mind off "her". I just want to know what it feels like to be the one & only and main girl in someones life. It seems i've been having a consistency in finding guys that still are emotionally attached or involved w their ex. like seriously...=(. I dont think i desrve this lol. When I like a guy...alot..i put my all in. I put so much time & effort into it and then in the end get nothing in return but a broken heart and the feeling of stupidity. Its such a waste of time and of effort. two things which I have none to spare, but i make time & put effort just because. IDK. For instance; Like i like this one kid right now. Hes pretty dopee and has close to everything im looking for finally. But of course it cant go well for too long. lmao its pretty much the same situation. I mean theirs more to it but i dont feel that its nessecary to put all the business out their. But basically thats the situation. & i just been down this road so many times before...do i really want to do it again??!!....

I mean like really..its like driving down a road & you encounter a dead end and had a horrable exerience when you got there; then a few weeks later you find yourself on the same road, yet theres still time to turn down the other way; why the heck would you go down the same deathly road?!...because im a stupid girl with hope that just wants to be appreciated...